 Fourth grade
Back in the old building, I started 4th grade. One day, at home, my sister took me into her room so I could tell her jokes. I loved jokes, I was obsessed with joke books. So I didn't question this, even though it was a bit unusual. After a while, she pulled a tape recorder out from next to the bed. She hadn't wanted to hear jokes, she had been recruited to record me at home. I didn't think much of the recording really, until the next day. My mom came into the school with the tape after my classmates had left and played it for my teacher. The whole way in I was begging her not to do it, but she wouldn't listen. Parents always know what to do, no matter what the kid says. Even now I can't see any good coming from this recording. What good could come out of tricking someone and then embarrassing them for it? I was never given the opportunity to do anything that I was comfortable with to make it easier for me to talk. Everything that was tried for me was forced on me, without considering what it was doing to me. If I were to hear of another SM person being recorded at home like this, I wouldn't be one bit surprised if they stopped talking at home too. If there's one safe place for them, don't ruin it by showing that even there is not safe. I don't know why I didn't stop talking at home. I was sitting in the TV room watching TV, and my mom called me out to the kitchen, which you can't see from where I was. I yelled something back, and she told me to just come out to the kitchen. I went, only to find my sister's friend sitting at the table with my mom and sister. It was just another trick, this time to get me talking in front of my sister's friend. Unfortunately, it worked, and eventually I was talking to her like a normal person. I say 'unfortunately', because I don't want other parents to try this. All it did for me was show me that I had to be much more careful where I talked and to see if anyone was around first before saying anything. When I think back on this now, I kind of remember my other sister sitting at the computer on the other side of the room, with her back facing us. She wasn't getting involved at all, she didn't even turn around or look at us. She's really shy too, and I have to wonder if she didn't agree with what we were doing. The way she totally ignored us, it was as though she might have even been annoyed at them for doing it. Something I learned in 4th grade was to always have an extra pencil! There were a few times when I didn't have anything to write with for some reason, so I just sat there while everyone took notes or did their assignment. My teacher would yell at me to start writing, but obviously I couldn't. I would kneel down and start digging in my desk, with my teacher waiting and therefore the whole class stopped and everyone staring at me. I would look up at her occasionally to let her know I wasn't finding anything, and after about 3-4 minutes she would say, "Don't you have a pencil?" Wasn't it obvious? In high school I was never without at least 3 pens, because there was no desk to dig around in if I didn't have one. I was pretty popular with people who forgot pens, but there was only one person who always gave me my pen back. I always had several backups, just in case. Suzie wasn't the best friend for an SM kid. It's sort of understandable, since it is kind of unusual to have a friend who doesn't talk. We were down on the baseball field by our school for recess one day, and she was trying to teach me how to do a cartwheel. I already knew how, but she didn't believe me because I wouldn't show her. There was no way I could do something like that in front of everyone on the field. I couldn't shift my legs in class, a cartwheel was impossible. She was extremely mad that I wouldn't even 'try'. She kept yelling at me and getting madder and madder, even though I was trying. My leg just wouldn't let me move to do it. There were a few times that I got sent to a different classroom while my class went over a test I had missed due to being absent. I would be sent to a different room with no way of letting the other teacher know why I was there. There was one time when the other teacher thought I was lost and directed me back to my classroom, directly across the hall, talking to me like I was 2 years old. If I went over, the teacher wouldn't know why I was there, if I refused to go, I would look like I was being defiant. Usually it ended up either my teacher walking over with me, or the other teacher coming to my room and asking my teacher why I was there. Since the rooms were literally across from each other, about 2 seconds apart, I don't know why my teacher couldn't have gone over in the first place and explained why I was there. Instead I would stand in front of the other class while the teacher tried to figure out what I wanted, meaning lots of snickering and whispering which no one was ever told to stop. Previous Page | Next Page
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